Uncertainty may be the word of 2020 but hearing and reading it over and over does not make living with it any easier. The truth is that uncertainty makes us tense up, physically and emotionally, and we start trying to control anything and everything we can. Unfortunately, that urge to control keeps us stuck in a repetitive cycle of worry-control-disappointment and frustration, without any space to breathe, think clearly or consider events from a new perspective. Although we've always had uncertainty in our lives this time feels different and our worrying about our health, our children, our parents, our jobs, our finances, our country and the world seems universal. So, how do we manage this uncertainty and worry? We need to lean into the uncertainty and begin to recognize the sensations, thoughts and feelings we are experiencing. As we invite those feelings in, the uncertainty begins to loosen its hold on us, and we can HAVE the feeling rather than BE the feeling.
Staying open is key. Suzuki Roshi, a Buddist master, talks about the importance of allowing in the uncertainty and not looking for answers or solutions. His famous quote "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities but in the expert's mind there are few" is particularly instructive in these times. As we learn to cultivate the "beginner's mind" we can feel the body relaxing, our mind opening and our capacity for wonder expanding.
Margaret Drabble, one of my favorite authors, writes "when nothing is sure, anything is possible".
For me, the uncertainty of not knowing when I will see my aging parents, my brother who is ill or my kids on the east coast, feels like I am being strangled. I try to meditate more, walk more, write more and express my love more. And I try to stay with the feelings associated with the worry and uncertainty. Ultimately its all about letting go, and we are encouraged to repeat those words, let go, as often and regularly as we can. Breathing in letting, and breathing out go. Continue repeating. Your rigidity will become softness, your tension will melt into relaxation and your certainty will become openness. In the words of EE Cummings,
"Let all go, the big, small middling tall, bigger, really the biggest and all things let all go dear so comes love..
Stay open, come from a beginner's mind, allow all possibilities and let go. So comes love. Please feel free to forward this to one or two women who could use a little nurturing! With Love and Nurturing,
Lawyer/Entrepreneur/Mom/Immersive Meditation Leader/Ripple Maker
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